I Went Out Two Nights Ago. Why am I STILL Hungover?

I went out two nights ago. Why am I still hungover

IN THE SEMINAL 2007 FILM KNOCKED Up, Katherine Heigl’s Alison gets a long- awaited promotion and goes clubbing with her sister, Leslie Mann’s Debbie, to celebrate. There are shots involved (lots of ’em). And also the song “Swing” by Savage. The next morning, Alison wakes up feeling like garbage… and then realizes she’s half-naked and in the bed of a schlubby, hairy stranger (Seth Rogen). A garbage sundae with an old-tuna-can as the cherry on top, to be sure.

LAST TUESDAY MORNING WE WOKE UP in the exact same situation. Except we were in our own bed, next to the same still- zonked-out partner we’ve been waking up next to for twenty years, and last night there had been no grinding at da club—no rounds of shots had been consumed. In fact, the previous night had involved a single, albeit quite large, glass of a lovely Gruner Veltliner after dinner before dozing off right at 10. But the hangover? Garbage sundae all the same. WHYYYYYYYYY?????? WHY!!!!!!!!! WE asked ourselves this repeatedly throughout Tuesday morning’s meetings as our head throbbed to the beat of “Swing” by Savage. AND THEN WE DID OUR HOMEWORK. And like all of the other unsavory, um, quirks that have been popping up via our skin (dry), our weight (high), and our mood (do you have to ask???), this hangover too is all part of menopause: As we get older, our bodies metabolize alcohol differently, allowing it to have the effect of staying in our systems longer.

IN ADDITION TO THE WHOLE TRASH heap thing, drinking during menopause can also exacerbate other menopause symptoms—the sleep, skin, and weight things included. So what does that mean for Gruner girls like us out there? It means we need to cut back—to an actual 5-ounce pour. And then focus on how to help with the kitchen-sink full of additional symptoms, most of which are caused by our bodies’ estrogen and progesterone tanking. Alloy offers products to get exactly those hormones back in balance, and they’re all plant-based, FDA-approved, and easy to get your hands on if you need them. Fill out Alloy’s new medical assessment as a first step to seeing where you fall in big ole chapter that is menopause and perimenopause, then consider taking control. Cheers, ladies, Alloy