When the Rage is Real

SPILLED COFFEE. HATE. ZOOM. LOATHE. The fact that no one will put their dishes in the dishwasher. Getting hot over here. America’s maternal health crisis. Inexcusable. America’s prison crisis. What the hell, people. The death of Rent mastermind Jonathan Larson, at 35, as depicted in last year’s Lin-Manuel Miranda film Tick, Tick…Boom! starring Andrew Garfield. Flat-out maddening. The way that lady with the kohlrabi keeps looking at us at the farmer’s market. She best cut it out if she wants to keep that cabbage. The way the nation mourned back in 2019 when Bei Bei the panda’s mother, Mei Xiang, went into menopause at 21. Our blood is at a rolling boil.

WE COULD GO ON. INSTEAD, WE'LL pass the mic to menopausal muse Sharon Stone to distill what’s going on here: “It’s kind of a hormonal shitshow.” (We highly recommend Stone’s memoir.) WHAT MOST OF US REFER TO AS RAGE —which if you’re reading this you know comes in flavors ranging from simmering to melt-your-face-off hot—Alloy’s Chief Medical Officer Sharon Malone, M.D., FACOG, NCMP, more gently calls irritability. Kinda flattering, right? We’ll take it. The scientific explanation for why we’re suddenly stripped of our chill points back to the estrogen and progesterone of it all. When those hormone levels dip, they set off a chain reaction that throws off the brain’s mood-balancing chemicals. With your “calming” GABA, “rewarding” dopamine, “energizing” norepinephrine, and “mood-boosting” serotonin out of whack, well, the rest of the world should gird their loins.

IF THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GRIM FORECAST, here’s an idea: Consider getting those hormones back into whack—or at least closer to their premenopause-era whack— with Alloy’s easy-to-get-your-mitts-on therapies. The products, which are all plant- based, biodentical, and FDA-approved, come in creams, patches, and pills depending on your needs and preferences. To get started—or to even just learn more about us—take our new online assessment. We promise you this little exercise will incite no rage, and you never know—the act of taking control of your own destiny may even provide you with an unexpected wave of zen. Peace to you and yours, Alloy